Sorry to say, but some things will be very different. Your friend has just undergone serious hormonal, physical, psychological, and social changes. Her priorities have changed, and guess what? It's completely natural!

Understand that things will be different  

The baby has arrived, Alhamdulillah! But your friend suddenly can no longer come over for coffee, or go out for Acai at random hours of the day. The newborn phase is hard, especially for first time mothers. No matter how many books have been read and how much preparation has been done, there’s nothing that can fully prepare a new mother for those sleepless nights, constant nappy changes, unexplained crying, and the anxiety that comes with going to sleep - because there’s nothing worse than being woken with cries just minutes after drifting off into a deep, well deserved sleep.  

It’s important to be understanding. Your friend is going through all of this (and more) while trying to juggle daily life. Allah describes Himself as "Ar-Rahman," the Most Merciful, and "Ar-Raheem," the Most Compassionate, encouraging believers to embody these qualities. So, the next time your friend with a newborn can’t make it to your coffee date or isn’t answering her phone for a chat, don’t take it personally. Remember: this phase won’t last forever. She’s doing her best, and her priorities have naturally shifted. Be proud that she’s being the best mother she can be. 

Be open to conversations you never thought you’d have with someone 

You might think babies just sleep and poop for the first few months... and if you think this, then nothing can prepare you for the conversations you're about to have. After not seeing your friend for a while, don’t be surprised if she starts discussing (at the very least) her baby’s poop color, consistency, and frequency; or how she’s sucking snot out of her little one’s nose (because, surprise, babies can’t blow their noses!). And for the breastfeeding mothers, you’ll likely hear about engorged leaky breasts, milk concerns, and—let’s not forget—cluster feeding, which tends to catch everyone off guard.  

These topics might not be what you had in mind for your long-awaited catch-up, but they’re real concerns for her right now. She’s probably stressed about these new experiences and feels the need to share them. Lend a compassionate ear. As odd and unrelatable as it may sound, these things are the center of her world right now, so be as supportive as you can. 

Help with housework/feed the woman!

New mothers barely have a moment to themselves—let alone time to cook a warm, nutritious meal. Bringing over a home-cooked dish or something for the freezer will be greatly appreciated (even order their favourite take out delivered to them). While you’re there, you could also offer to help with some housework or even watch the baby while she sneaks in a shower (or a much-needed nap). These small gestures may not take much time, but they will forever be remembered.  

Respect her privacy  

You’re eager to see your friend and get some baby snuggles, so you decide to drop by to see if they’re home... STOP! While it may have been fine to pop over unannounced before, things are different now. Your friend is likely using every minute of her day to care for the baby, get the little one to sleep, do housework, or enjoy a moment of peace while the baby is asleep. 

Although your intentions are pure, always check in first before showing up. She may not be ready for visitors—she might not have showered, eaten, or might even smell like old milk! As a new mom, those rare moments of peace are priceless, so respect her need for time and space. She wants to see you too, but maybe she’ll need to eat, shower, or have coffee first (or maybe all three at once).

Although things are different now, she needs her friends and family around now more than ever to navigate this new chapter. At Pure Iman, we're here to help choose the perfect Islamic baby gift box for the new mama in your life. We include an Ayatul Kursi pin in every Islamic gift box to give the new parents an added piece of mind, invite barakah into their lives, and act as a reminder to recite this powerful ayah the next time they struggle to soothe their newborn (which has happened to us all at least once). We offer free shipping for all orders over $100, and offer FREE personalisation for selected gift boxes. Feel free to reach out with any questions you may have, we're always happy to help!